Author Topic: Picnic by the side of the battlefield  (Read 6101 times)

Offline Sarina

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Picnic by the side of the battlefield
« on: May 24, 2008, 06:04:26 PM »
For millennia, the Bane have been intent on conquering the entire universe with the unorthodox tactic of fighting meekly, dying in droves and loosing badly. This day were no different, except that they assaulted a group of AFS soldiers who were off duty.

Perhaps the Bane thought this would give them a victory for once, but they were of course as mistaken as always.

We zoom in on the orbital camera and between two ridges, in a small glade just north of the Raintree Thicket we find this small battlegroup of AFS soldiers having a picnic. After clearing the area from some annoying tentacled pieces of the local wildlife, these AFS soldiers have had a pleasant event as far as food and drink goes.
Their only concern had been one lengthy argument over the dead lashers where Sarina insisted that the Lasher should have ten. 'Moody' Melancon, who were somewhat dim repeatedly had asked “Ten what?”. In the end, and to get some quiet, Euthanasia had to lean over and spell it out for Moody that Sarina had made a pun on the word ten-tacles.

That the Bane had launched 10 assaults on them had only been a small annoyance, and only caused some short intermissions in their eating and drinking. In fact 'Slippery' Jim passed out completely intoxicated within the first hour so we will be blessed from any of his comments in this story.
As for the bane, all their effort had been to no avail, most of the members of the platoon did not even stop eating during the assaults.

On most times Sarina had been sent out to do the killing. And now after the last assault 'Moody' Melancon had sobered up enough to show some interest for his surroundings and started to yell helpful comments on the fastest way to exterminate the remaining Trax that desperately were running up the ridges in one attempt to survive Sarinas shining blade.

Suddenly a gurgling sound like a broken trumpet is heard from a nearby bush. Moody who are one of the newer members of the AFS battlegroup and dont know all the species found on the Bane infested planets looks up from his plate and asks: 'Now what Arieki animal cause that kind of racket?'

I know what it is, its a crying Slimoid spawn replied Euthanasia.

'You're a cruel woman Sarina!' “Moody” Melancon cries. 'See what suffering you have caused by killing its momma! That just prove how much empathy you got, what was wrong in your upbringing.' He taunted and so the banter started again in this small fighting group.

'Nothing much' Sarina retorts' At least I had a one upbringing compared to some now present.' She looks back at Atropos from a nearby ridge with a leer.

'Upbringing, hah!' Sprallerina joins the banter and adds while also looking toward Atropos. 'Any time we enter one of the Bane laboratories I see you get a wet eye when you see the cloning pods and test tubes.' She blurts and nudges her elbow into Atropos side, only causing a thumping sound in his Gravity armor chestpiece.

'Buggeroff' grumble Atropos who until this point haven't said much during the entire day.

By this time Sarina had lost interest in the banter and started to eye one Stalker that walks some distance away.

Like many other Stalkers this one had a secret, in a hidden and well armed compartment it carried the most cherished belongings which were some recipes for paint which it brought wherever it went. During the daily killing and maiming it used its enormous brain to contemplate the possibility that it one day would paint itself in a shocking lime green, or possibly a bright fuschia.
All that pondering brought to a halt when Sarina decides to do a run down to the valley floor below and end the Stalker with a quick slash of the blade.

So well, were were we? Oh yes, cloning was the current subject for the five friends who had decided to take their picnic in Incline. Though saying friends is stretching the word quite a bit.

Their commanding officer had sometimes even wondered which of them that would come back wounded first, not from any Bane injury of course, but from deliberate friendly fire. (Sarina and 'Slippery' Jim had in fact a long history of assaulting each others. Both verbally and even physically.)
Not that this did worry him or even took up much of his attention, he was too busy bothering with any of his troopers as he made a small fortune smuggling coffee, cigarettes, moonshine and 'magazines of a questionable morality' to other officers stationed around the worlds.

Lets instead just state the fact that a few of these persons are related, and that all were of the same AFS battlegroup, and so they happened to be off duty and decided to go on this picnic at the same time, period.

At this point our account of the situation is interrupted by one small army of about 282 Trax entering the scene with weapons waving.
(We came up with the number of 282 by counting the limbs spread out in the landscape after the battle and divided that number with four, but some uncertainty remains to the exact number with aliens like this that originally could have any number of limbs.)

Euthanasia couldn't care less and just barely suppress a yawn while she rolls halfway over facing Sarina to ask: 'Wouldn't you just be dandy and take care of these also so I don't have to get up in the middle of digesting our picnic.

'Me again sister? Sarina asked with a vitriolic sneer, 'What about my digestion then?' but grumbling she stood up and inspected her sword.

'Well its you who got a sword after all, and anyone with either a staff or sword will take out these guys in less than 30 seconds anyhow.'

'And it will be without cost for ammunition' Sarina added sarcastically.

'Er, oh you think someone mentioned that fact about ammo too many times already?' Adreenalina asked leering.

'Noo way' Sarina mock pretended surprise and added, 'No absolutely not, I hardly ever hear you mention that more than 3 times per hour!'

By this time the marauding Trax were within arms length so Sarina simply streched out her arm and immediately had 3 Trax turn themselves into a Shish Kebab in her sword.
She whipped the sword up and down trying to remove the bodys so that she would be able to continue her cutting edge work, and it that process she beat about a hundred more Trax to death. This made possible since the Trax very conveniently did place themselves in harms way when they noted that Sarina's edge had gotten useless.

A relative silence eventually falls when the battle is over. Lying on his back Moody checks his watch and declares that he is disappointed that the killing of 200 plus Trax (depending on the number of limbs they originally wielded) had taken a whopping minute and 45 seconds.

(A commander with the smallest tendency of intelligence would long ago have given this all up, or at least converted the remaining troops to a duty they might be able to handle, like the growing of cucumbers.
But not the obsessed Bane, all they ask is more of the same. And we will have another suicide attack in a few minutes, that if only this story would be long enough.)

'These guys really should do something else like getting a hobby', said Sarina, when she sat down to finish her picnic meal.

(And as the author I have to protest this comment since she at this point obviously cheated by reading my comment of the Bane commander above.)

'I dont get it either' said Moody Melancon. 'They build all these fancy machinery all over, and then they install one big red button that you just have to touch to blow it all up.'
Sarina nodded, 'Yes I find it rather odd also, like if its their intent to give us a free ride or what else could the reason be for this.'

Euthanasia nodded solemly in thought as if agreeing, but she wasnt, she nodded because she had arrived at the only possible explanation to this situation and the world they inhabited.

'Yes' she whispered and then raised her voice. 'I know why this world is so odd, something have gone terribly wrong here, perhaps when we used the wormhole transport. And we have entered some kind of one alternative pocket universe. Instead of a place where the enemies are dangerous and provide a challenge, this is a universe where the evil forces of the universe are weak. And all we have to do is to clean them out and then we could be sitting in trees and sing with the elvens, er uh, Foreans I mean!'

'No challenge' blurts Sprallerina who have gotten up on her feet and kicks some slimoids around as they were footballs. 'No challenge but the failure of our duty and missions for things that comes out of the blue. Not the enemy, but rifts in this strange reality. I find that unsatisfactory also.'

Euthanasia continues by describing other things that were wrong with this world and to her surprise the others nod and agree. So when she end her speech by saying 'Where there isn't a fight, my existence isn't called for, and I will be bored.'
She rips off the AFS badge and the others follow her example by removing theirs and all applaud together.
'We need to have a look at the electronics of the wormhole transports and see if we can jury-rig it to send us to the universe where we really belong. where we are NEEDED!' Euthanasia say, the others nod and they set off to find a way to a world where things are right, or perhaps rather so wrong that there will be projects and challenges that gives them a meaning to their lives.

(Yes account is canceled, I will play until the acc expires.
And yes, the choice of making it a picnic in the theatralic title of my worst piece of RP writing ever.... its written in a fragmented mode, a deliberate comment on the state of the game.
The title is a reference to the shifts in reality described in the SciFi book Roadside Picnic by the Strugatskij brothers (which I have read), a book that was loosely adopted for the script for the film 'Stalker' by Andrei Tarkovskij, and equally loosely the foundation for the computer game S.T.A.L.K.E.R)
« Last Edit: May 24, 2008, 11:07:07 PM by Sarina »